Foreign Affairs Page 15

  ‘I have to bring her,’ Brenda muttered shamefacedly, glowering at Jennifer.

  Eddie shrugged his shoulders. ‘No big deal. Hi.’ He smiled at Jennifer.

  Jennifer smiled back.

  ‘Hello,’ she said shyly.

  Brenda was gobsmacked. He didn’t mind. After all her worry and stress, Eddie didn’t seem to mind that Jennifer was coming along as well. A distressing thought struck her. Maybe he didn’t consider this a real date. Maybe it meant nothing to him and that was why he didn’t mind about Jenny being with her. Her heart sank to her toes. She felt like crying.

  ‘Cheer up,’ Eddie instructed. ‘You’ve a face on you that would curdle milk. We’re going to have a bit of a laugh.’ Brenda did her best to cheer up but her heart was heavy. Nevertheless, when they got off the bus at the end of O’Connell Street, her spirits lifted. Town was buzzing. Buskers on O’Connell Bridge played a jaunty tune. A street artist was drawing a picture of the Ha’penny Bridge and they stopped to look, impressed by his talent. They strolled on towards Grafton Street laughing and chatting. Jennifer walked quietly behind, eyes wide as she watched all that was going on around her. Soon, Brenda almost forgot that she was there. They walked the winding length of Dublin’s poshest street. Peered in through shop windows, commenting on this and that. The gorgeous fashions greatly impressed the girls.

  As they got nearer to the top, Brenda really started to enjoy herself. She was not used to this end of town. It seemed much more exciting than Henry Street and O’Connell Street. She could see Stephen’s Green. The famous Gaiety Theatre where Maureen Potter played in her famous pantos at Christmas was nearby. They’d gone to the panto last Christmas and it had been brilliant. Suddenly, Brenda felt very grown-up sauntering along past theatres and restaurants and expensive department stores on a Saturday afternoon with two fellas. Cora Delahunty, eat your heart out, she thought happily. When they left the twisting claustrophobia of Grafton Street behind, Brenda drew a deep breath and gazed around her in pleasure. To her left she could see the stately Shelbourne Hotel, and to her right, down a lane, was the famous Dandelion Market. Hundreds of people crowded around the stalls hunting for bargains, and with a happy smile at Kathy she followed Eddie and Kenny through the traffic.

  The five of them had a ball. They pored over the records. They examined the jewellery displays. They rummaged through clothes rails. They viewed the bric-à-brac with interest, she and Kathy picking out goodies they would love to have in their bedrooms. They watched an old man dancing, and enjoyed the music of the buskers. They bought ice cream and chocolate. Brenda bought her beads, Kathy bought nail varnish. Jennifer bought a second-hand Enid Blyton mystery book. Eddie bought a penknife and Kenny bought a second-hand army jacket and insisted on wearing it, although it was very warm.

  After a couple of hours of absolute enjoyment, they bought crisps, cream buns and Coke and headed for Stephen’s Green, where they had a lovely picnic in the late afternoon sun. Regretfully, Kathy and Brenda told the lads they’d have to go home. Kenny and Eddie were going to go to a picture in the Green Cinema later, they told the girls.

  Eddie drew Brenda aside on the pretext of feeding the ducks and as they hunkered down together throwing bits of the top of her mother’s almond ring to the eagerly awaiting ducks, he said offhandedly, ‘There’s a Céilí in school next Thursday, d’ya fancy coming with me?’

  Brenda felt her heart soar with happiness. So he was interested.

  ‘Yeah, I’d love to,’ she mumbled. Eddie grinned and leaned over and gave her a hasty peck on the cheek.

  ‘See you on the bus on Monday morning.’

  Brenda couldn’t speak, she was so happy.

  ‘Don’t you dare say one word about anything,’ she warned her sister as they reached their front door an hour later.

  ‘I won’t,’ Jennifer promised, eyes shining at the excitement of it all. ‘Are you going with him?’

  Brenda smiled happily and put her finger to her lips.

  ‘Yes I am, but not a word, mind.’

  She knocked on the door, because she’d forgotten her key, and it was opened a few minutes later by a subdued Sean. ‘Somethin’ awful’s happened,’ he blurted out. ‘Mammy an’ Daddy’s after having an awful row an’ Mammy’s crying up in her bedroom an’ Daddy’s gone off in a temper.’

  ‘What did they have the row about?’ Brenda was horrified. Her parents rarely exchanged cross words. If her mother was crying and her father had gone off in a temper, it must have been something bad.

  ‘Come on, Sean. Tell me,’ she said worriedly.

  ‘Well Mammy went to visit Auntie Ellen about Grandpa Myles, an’ Auntie Ellen said she was havin’ nuttin’ to do with him,’ her brother explained breathlessly. ‘An’ Daddy said Grandpa Myles will just have to stay here when he comes out of hospital, until he gets better. That’s if he ever gets better,’ he added glumly.

  Brenda felt her cloud of happiness evaporate into thin air.

  Chapter Fifteen

  ‘Jennifer, I want you,’ she heard her grandfather call. God Almighty, I’ll be dead late, she thought in exasperation. Why is he always annoying me? She was up to ninety. It was her first day in secondary school. She’d had a row with her mother, who wanted her to wear Brenda’s blazer, which even she had only worn once or twice. And Jennifer couldn’t blame her. Blazers were ultra-hickey. Beth was waiting for her at the gate and now here was her grandfather bellowing at her from what used to be their dining-room, but which was now his bedroom. Swallowing her frustration she popped her head around the door. The fug of tobacco smoke nearly made her cough. Her grandfather smoked a pipe and the house reeked of the smell of it. It drove Kit mad.

  ‘Good morning, Grandpa,’ she said politely, feigning cheeriness.

  ‘Come in here until I have a look at you,’ he ordered, his grey bushy eyebrows drawing together as he scrutinized her. She looked at the elderly bald man sitting in his bed. Although he was disabled and was only a small wiry man, he had a very commanding air about him. Ever since he’d moved into their home three years ago he’d made his presence felt. Interfering in everything. Bossing them all about, even their father. He commented on everything even though Kit told him to mind his own business. Since Grandpa Myles had come to live with them, there wasn’t a bit of peace in the house. Her mother was always narky. Her father was much stricter with them than he used to be and the pair of them were always arguing. Jennifer sometimes had the horrible thought that it was a pity the accident that disabled him hadn’t killed him and saved them all from a life of hassle. Her cousins Susie and Pamela couldn’t call any more because of the feud with Auntie Ellen. And Kit wasn’t too keen on Jennifer going to stay the night with Pamela any more because she was a bit annoyed with Auntie Ellen for lumbering them with Grandpa. There was a coolness that had never been there before and it was all because of the grumpy old man in the bed.

  ‘You look very smart, Jennifer, although it’s a pity you don’t do something about that fringe of yours. It’s bad for your eyesight hanging down over your eyes like that. Your mother should know that.’

  ‘I have to go, Grandpa, I’ll be late,’ Jennifer said politely, although she was furious at the way he criticized her mother.

  ‘Oh always in a hurry. Never a minute to spend with your poor ailing grandfather,’ he moaned. ‘All of you, you’re all the same. If only God had spared your poor grandmother to look after me.’

  Oh no! Not the poor grandmother bit, Jennifer thought in desperation. This speech she had heard a thousand times.

  ‘Grandpa, I really have to go now. I’ll miss the bus.’

  ‘Go on with you, and here.’ He held out sixpence to her. ‘Here’s a tanner for your first day at your new school. I’ll be waiting for you to tell me all about it when you get home,’ he said brusquely. Jennifer felt like a heel. Here she was thinking all these dire thoughts about him and he’d gone and given her sixpence to spend because it was her first day at her new school. Brenda was
always jeering her and saying that she was his pet, and maybe she was. Brenda hardly ever spoke to him. And when she did she could be a bit rude. Jennifer would like to be rude as well sometimes but she just couldn’t bring herself to be.

  She knew her grandfather was lonely. He loved to talk about the old days, but the boys were usually out playing football on The Green and Brenda ignored him completely so that just left her. Sometimes she felt sorry for him so she would sit and listen to his tales and actually enjoy them now and again.

  She looked at the sixpence in her hand and felt her heart soften. Impulsively she leaned over and kissed his stubby lined cheek. ‘Thanks, Grandpa.’ Although he didn’t let on, Jennifer knew he was pleased.

  ‘G’wan out of that now, all the same you’ve a bit more feeling for me than the rest of that lot put together. I know I’m a great thorn in their sides. And that Brenda lassie is an ignorant young madam.’ He waved a knobbly forefinger in the direction of the hall to indicate Brenda and the rest of the family.

  ‘I’ll see you later, Grandpa,’ Jennifer said wearily, resentment surging again at the criticism of her family.

  ‘What did he want?’ her mother enquired, her voice a trifle cool after the contretemps over the blazer.

  ‘He gave me sixpence because I was starting in secondary,’ Jennifer explained. She was in a frenzy to be off but she wanted to try and make up for their previous argument.

  ‘Huh!’ Kit snorted. ‘Aren’t you the lucky one? All I get from him day in, day out, is impudence. I wish I was able to go to secondary school and get out of here for a while. I wouldn’t mind having to wear a blazer if I could get some peace from that fella.’ Jennifer sighed deeply, it was obvious her mother was still in a bad humour.

  Kit, noting the sigh, looked at her and threw her eyes up to heaven. ‘Don’t mind me,’ she said, in a softer tone. ‘I’m getting my period and I’m like a demon. I shouldn’t be taking it out on you. I’m sorry, Jenny. Off you go and have a lovely first day in secondary school. You look smashing in the uniform. I hope you and Beth will be in the same class. I’ll be dying to hear all about it when you get home.’ She held out her arms and Jennifer moved close for her embrace. Kit hugged her tightly and kissed the top of her head. ‘Bye lovey.’

  ‘Bye Mam, I’ll see you later and tell you all about it,’ Jennifer promised. She felt sorry for her mother. It was bad enough having to put up with her grandfather but she was getting her period as well. That was the pits. Jennifer had got her first period several months ago, and their subsequent appearances had not changed her attitude to them. She was not the slightest bit impressed by them and thought the whole palaver a dreadful messy nuisance. ‘If you like I’ll go for a walk with you this evening,’ she offered generously, knowing that her mother enjoyed a walk but not on her own because she was afraid of dogs.

  ‘Thanks, pet.’ Her mother stood at the door and waved as she and Beth set off on their great new adventure.

  As she watched Jenny and Beth march up the street in their new uniforms, a lump came to Kit’s throat. It seemed like yesterday when she’d brought the pair of them to St Pappin’s for their first day at school. Where had the time gone? And look at the way their lives had changed. And not for the better, she thought miserably as a tear rolled down her cheek. She’d been a bitch to her daughter this morning over that blazer. Poor Jenny had enough on her mind. Naturally she was a bit nervous starting a new school. Kit had been looking for someone to vent her frustration and temper on and she had taken it out on Jenny. Poor kind soft Jenny who was the most obliging of her children and the one she had the least trouble with.

  The single tear was followed by a torrent and Kit, fearful that the father-in-law would catch her, stifled her sobs in her apron and hurried up the stairs to the relative sanctuary of her own bedroom. Not that it was much of a sanctuary any more, she thought dolefully, and the torrent turned into a waterfall. More often than not she lay awake seething at Jim, angry about his immense disloyalty to her. When it came to his father, there was no discussion. He just didn’t want to hear. Kit felt frustrated and shut out. Having his father come to live with them had driven a wedge between them. The longer he stayed, the wider the chasm dividing them.

  As the years passed and her misery deepened, Kit became even more depressed. She felt that it had come down to a choice between her and his father and Jim had chosen his father. Hurt, anger and resentment were eating away at her. She was taking it out on her children, snapping at them. Arguing with them over trivial things as she’d argued with poor old Jenny this morning. She was trying her best not to let her children see the antipathy she felt towards their grandfather. It was important that they treated him with respect. He was, after all, an elderly man. She wasn’t going to have him saying that his grandchildren weren’t being brought up to respect their elders.

  If only her father-in-law appreciated the care she gave him, she could have coped. But he was a rude garrulous cranky old man who loved the sound of his own voice and who firmly believed it was his right to dictate how the entire family should live and behave.

  She’d lost her dining-room, which was turned into a bedroom for Dan. She had to endure him in the kitchen under her feet and in the sitting-room at night when she was trying to relax. Day in, day out. It was so wearing on the nerves that she felt her health was being affected. She’d spoken to her doctor about the tension headaches, the insomnia and the dreadful feeling of being wound up all the time but he just murmured something about her starting the change and offered her sleeping pills for the insomnia. Kit wondered sometimes if she was starting to have a nervous breakdown. It frightened her.

  She was angry with Ellen. It took a huge effort to be civil to her. Their relationship had become strained and frosty. Of course, Ellen had stopped visiting when Dan had come to stay. Deep down, Kit understood her sister-in-law’s enormous animosity towards her father, but dammit he was her father and not Kit’s. Why didn’t she take the responsibility for him and put him in a nursing home or something? Whenever Kit said that to Jim he would go spare. He’d say how would she like it if he’d suggested anything like that when her parents were alive.

  ‘My parents weren’t destroying my marriage,’ she’d exploded bitterly after one particularly vicious row. She’d accused him of not loving her any more. Because if he did, he’d never allow his father to treat her as he did. Jim was so angry he’d gone downstairs and slept on the sofa. For the first time.

  The memory of that made her cry even harder and she buried her face in the pillows and cried her eyes out. It was hopeless. Her life stretched out ahead of her, a life of rows and misery and repressed anger and all because of that awful little man downstairs who had ruined her happy family. And who looked as though he was going to live for ever.

  ‘Any chance of a cup of tea and a bit of brown bread or does a disabled man have to go and get his own breakfast?’ she heard him call.

  ‘If I get my hands on you, you little bastard, I’ll disable you. Don’t you worry, you horrible little weasel,’ she swore, sitting up and rubbing her eyes. Kit got off the bed and went to brush her hair. It was liberally streaked with grey now, she thought despondently. Much of it put there by the Antichrist downstairs. A sudden determination gripped her and with swift economical movements she dressed and applied a light make-up. The boys called goodbye and she stood at the landing window and waved them off.

  ‘Have I to go and get my own breakfast or what?’ Dan appeared at his bedroom door, dressed in a worn grey dressing-gown and down-at-heel slippers.

  ‘Yes Grandpa, I’m afraid you have. I’ve an appointment in town. And you’ll have to get your own lunch too. I won’t be back until this afternoon,’ Kit informed him briskly. ‘You can leave the washing-up and I’ll do it.’ Without a backward glance she marched out the front door, leaving her father-in-law staring after her in dismay.

  Chapter Sixteen

  ‘Well Mrs Myles, and what do you think of it?’ The young man who h
ad just cut and coloured her hair stood proudly behind her chair surveying his handiwork.

  Kit studied her reflection in the mirror and felt exhilarated and a bit shocked at the same time. She’d never done anything so drastic in her life. Instead of grey straight hair she had strawberry blonde tresses that were cut in a neat geometrical bob to frame her face. ‘Vidal Sassoon, eat your heart out,’ grinned the young man. He was wearing too-tight jeans and a black shirt opened to reveal a tanned hairy chest which was adorned with gold medallions.

  ‘It’s very nice,’ she murmured.

  ‘Nice! It’s fab, way out, it takes ten years off you, baby,’ the young man exclaimed enthusiastically, running his fingers through his own permed and highlighted locks.

  ‘Come back to me in six weeks. I’ll trim your fringe if you need it. OK?’

  ‘OK,’ Kit agreed, wondering what had possessed her to go in to the unisex hair salon and make such a dramatic change in her hairstyle and colour.

  You did it because you were letting yourself go. You were getting old before your time. You’re not Methuselah yet, she thought wryly. Nevertheless. The exercise had had the desired effect. There was a spring in her step as she marched down Abbey Street and crossed O’Connell Street and went into Easons.

  Kit was really starting to enjoy her unscheduled little jaunt. Something inside her had snapped that morning. When she saw the haggard face with the greying hair reflected in the mirror she’d decided she wasn’t going to give in without a struggle. She wasn’t going to let her life be spoiled by a crabby old man who needed a good kick up the arse. If her husband wanted to look after him, let him, Kit decided firmly. Enough was enough. She was going to start living again instead of existing in dreary drudgery for which she got no thanks.

  A rare light-heartedness enveloped her as she caught sight of her glamorous new image in a mirror. Her haircut totally changed her looks. The hairdresser was right, it did take years off her age. Even her eyes seemed to have a bit of extra sparkle. She resolved there and then to treat herself to some new make-up and a new outfit. But first things first, she decided as she scanned the huge display rack of magazines until she found Woman’s Way. Yes, first she was going to treat herself to lunch in Woolworth’s café, have a read of her magazine and enjoy a cigarette in peace and quiet with no whining father-in-law to annoy her.